The One Where Autism Turned My Kid Into a House Elf

There are days around here where the autism wins.  Sometimes, it completely triumphs over the life of minion #1.  There is about as much point to trying to reason with it as there is with a newborn.  Most days it just lies in wait, searching for its opportunity to strike and really take hold.  Thankfully, those days are fewer now.  Sometimes though, it creeps in when we least expect it to and unlike most times, the results to those watching are sheer hilarity. 

Minion#1 wandered into the kitchen Friday evening as the king and I were making dinner.  I was happily carving up veggies as he was doing up the pizza crusts.  The king looks down at the minions feet for some reason and realizes he only has one sock on.  Now this isn't all that unusual, odd things like this happen often around here.  What is a bit different this time is the answer we got when the question of where that sock is was asked.

"My brother took it",  the minion proclaimed.
The king and I looked at each other, blinked once, and turned to look at the minion.  "Go get your sock back", the king directed.  "You ARE the big brother after all."

Dobby, from Harry Potter

Minion #1 disappears upstairs to retrieve the stolen sock, and minion #2 appears.  After a brief discussion about the current state of dinner and when it would be magically appearing on their plates, I asked the other minion about the thievery of the sock, and why it was taken.

With a completely straight face, he looks at us and says, "Um, it's probably better you just don't know".  Now, in most households, that answer probably wouldn't fly, but in this one, it does.  One, we probably don't want to know, but two, who can argue with that reasoning?

Minion #2 was instructed to go help the other one find his sock, and find it they did.  I'm happy to report that Connor the house elf, is now free!


While you may be thinking our parenting style is just awful, and we probably should have demanded a better answer from the secondary minion, we didn't and won't.  Conflict resolution requires a bit of finesse and practice to do well with for anyone.  It also requires people skills which are sorely lacking in most autistic people.  It takes years and years of practice for some of them just to ask a simple question or hold a conversation.  So, even though they are brothers, and minion #2 is used to dealing with him, it does take a lot to get them to work together, find an amicable solution and make up.  We just make sure it happens, the hows are up to them.