Shaggy-headed minion
I have three guys I live with.  The king and the two minions.  The King keeps his hair in a high and tight style as does minion #2.  Minion #1 though has a little more flair and likes his in a nice tapered fade.  The upkeep on these alone would set us back about a hundred dollars a month, every month.  If you're like me and can't bear to part with that much of your hard earned money on haircuts, here's what you do.
First, get a set a clippers.  They don't have to cost a fortune, the one I have retails for about $30 (US)  and comes with scissors and a barber cape as well.  If your clippers didn't come with a set of scissors, get those and a barber cape as well. (I've had my set for almost 20 years, so they do last if you take care of them.) Then, sit your minion down, and take a good look at his shaggy little head.
Less shaggy minion
Put a drop or two of oil on the blades of the clippers.  They'll cut better and it keeps then sharp and conditioned as well.  Then, figure out where you want the fade the start.  I start his at about an inch above where his ears meet the head.  Turn on your clippers and using the bare blade with no guard, shave up from the bottom to the imaginary line about an inch above the ear.  Be careful around the top and backs of the ears.  You have to move the ear slightly especially when the kids are small because the clippers are a lot larger than the area you're dealing with.  Just be careful not to nip the skin accidentally.  Strangely, the minions are a bit apprehensive about sitting for the next cut if you nick them.
Almost normal minion
Next you're going to put the clippers down and get your scissors.  I use the thickness of my fingers as a good measuring tool, you can also use a comb if you're so inclined.  Basically, starting at one side or the other, comb a small section of hair so you're holding it between your fore and middle finger and cut it.  This isn't rocket science.  Again, I use the thickness of my fingers as a guide for length.  Do this over the entire head, except for the very front.  The bangs, for boys you can do one of two things depending on what your minion likes.  Leave it longer so they can spike it up a bit in the front, or cut it straight across so it lines up even with where the line is for the fade.  Your choice, or theirs if they're old enough.  Mine likes his straight across.

Cutting the front straight 

Next, we move on to the taper part.  I won't lie, this is the hard part.  Oh, and not cutting your fingers.  That's not an easy feat either with a squirming kid.  While they get their squirm on, grab the clippers and take off any strays that you may have missed earlier.  One you're done with that, get your trusty scissors and convince your minion to hold still again.  Put your comb almost tight to the head and draw it up though the hair until the bottom of the comb is just above the fade line.  Using the clippers, draw them over the comb to cut away what sticks out through it.  Do this the entire way around the head (except the front, or your minion will look weirder than usual).
Tidied up minion

At this point I usually take the clippers and with a bare blade even out the taper.  It may be a bit bumpier right where the taper and fade meet up.  Just make it look nice and even.
That's it.  It takes a little practice, so don't get discouraged if yours doesn't look like they just stepped out of the barber shop the first time through.  Remember, stylists go to school or something for this, by the time you do it about five times it will look perfect too.

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1 Response
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